Top 5 Ridiculous Stories of the 2019 NFL Season

Of course, I love football because of the sick plays, clutch victories and heart-warming story lines. But I also love it because of the ridiculous crap that happens every single season. Seriously, the NFL has more drama than the Real Housewives of any city. This is where the majority of men who don’t like to admit their love for drama, get their fix.
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In 2019 alone, fans have been graced to witness everything for Big Ben’s massive beard to Gronk becoming an NFL analyst. I struggled to narrow down the field to just a few stories, but I did it. Here are the top 5 ridiculous NFL stories of 2019….so far.

#5
​SAM DARNOLD - OUT INDEFINTELY - MONONUCLEOSIS

Sam Darnold, the 2nd year QB of the New York Jets, does not kiss and tell. BUT, his immune system certainly does. Shortly after Darnold posted a decent week 1 performance against the Bills, it was announced that he would be sidelined for 4 to 6 weeks due to mononucleosis.
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Naturally, this turned into a massive meme and the above nationally-televised graphic did not help. The internet and his teammates roasted him, saying it was a “sick joke”. Darnold explained that he even thought it was a joke when head coach, Adam Gase, broke the news to him.

After not playing for a month, Darnold did return for week 6 against the Cowboys and lit the boys UP. However, after that game, the Jets remembered that they don’t know how to play football and were blown out by the Pats in week 7. Currently, the Jets stand at 5-9.

It doesn’t sound like Darnold is trying to be careful though. After the Jet’s week 12 win against the Raiders, Darnold went out to the club with his team to celebrate and was spotted making out with a chick. Sources claim he had a little too much to drink, but hey good for Sam for having some fun.

#4
Spy Kids 2

The only reason this is at #4 and not ranked higher is because the Patriots have been cheaters and are still cheaters. This scandal is not a shock. I personally found the Orchids of Asia scandal way more entertaining.

But anyway, the Patriots were caught taping the Bengals sideline during the week 14 Bengals vs. Browns game. The Patriots claimed that they were filming for a “Do Your Job” documentary feature that followed the day-to-day work of their advanced scouting department. The team stated that the Browns were aware of the filming (not the Bengals) and that the filming of the sideline was an “unintended oversight”. The independent contractor behind the filming has since been suspended by the team. The Patriots were scheduled to play the Bengals in week 16, two weeks after the filming.

Of course, the footage has now been shared with the Bengals, the NFL and most recently, the public. The video is ambiguous but its purpose of filming the play-calling seems pretty clear. Major sanctions are not expected to be imposed on the team. Goodell does claim he and the NFL are thoroughly investigating the matter. Whatever that means.

It looks like the Patriots will live on to cheat again. It is also to be noted that the Bengals appeared to put up a fight against the Patriots during their Week 16 match up by trailing at the half only 13-10. However, the Patriots blew them out in the second half with a final score of 34-13. My theory is that Bill had to make the game look close at first to throw the investigators off the scent.

#3
The Black Cat

I have good news for Jags, Panthers, Bengals, and Lions fan, you have something to blame your crappy seasons on. On Monday, November 4th, 2019, during week 10 of the NFL season, possibly one of the greatest football plays occurred. This black cat ran onto the field of Metlife stadium during the Cowboys vs. Giants game and ran 50 yards for a touchdown. The internet exploded. I jumped for joy. No one knew where the black cat came from, no one knew where the cat went and everyone wanted to adopt the cat.

We are all superstitious though and knew that a black cat crossing your path is bad news. We just didn’t know how this bad omen would come to fruition. It turns out the teams of Metlife and the Cowboys are safe, the cat teams of the NFL are not. As of week 16 of the NFL season, 6 weeks after the incident, cat teams have posted a combined record of 2-21. MEOW. It took until December 2nd for the Bengals to win their first game of the season.

Not that any of these teams were that good to begin with, but at least y’all have something to blame it on. No need to fire your entire organization just yet (firing Ron Rivera was a bad move).

Meow. Also, I think the Jets are looking to sign this cat. Meow.

#2
The Helmet Smash Heard Around The World

When Myles Garrett was drafted first overall in the 2017 draft, the main thing that stood out about him, besides his monstrous defensive plays, was his quirky and even-tempered personality. The man loves researching dinosaurs, watching anime, and writing poetry. I loved the man because he was the first person to [handsomely] donate to Texas A&M’s BTHOharvey. He was the darling of Texas A&M during his time there and up until November 14th, 2019, he was beloved by the NFL.

During the final seconds of the week 11 Browns vs. Steelers game, Steeler’s QB Mason Rudolph and Myles Garrett entered into a skirmish. The skirmish quickly escalated into Myles ripping Mason’s helmet off and hitting him over the head with it (Video Link). At that moment Ndamukong Suh’s stomping controversy was dwarfed by Myles’ helmet smashing.

In response, the NFL proclaimed that Garrett “violated unnecessary roughness and unsportsmanlike conduct rules, as well as fighting and removing an opponent’s helmet and using it as a weapon.” He was fined and suspended indefinitely, but he probably will play again next season.

In the days that followed, Garrett claimed that his attack on Rudolph was provoked by Rudolph saying a racial slur during the play. However, this could not be proven.

The internet has gone wild and is definitely taking sides. Those in-favor of Myles say that the act was out-of-character, Mason did say a racial slur, and Mason is a dick anyway. Those in favor of Mason exclaim that this wasn’t Myles’ first offense this season. Before the fight, Myles had racked up of $50,000 in fines for punching Tennessee TE Delanie Walker and two late hits on New York Jets QB Trevor Siemian. However, everyone agrees that the helmet smash was at least a tad excessive and should have never happened.

​I don’t approve of what Myles did, but according to the internet (which is always right), he has a punchable face and is a massive weenie.

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#1
​@AB84

Not only was Antonio Brown the most searched athlete of 2019, but he was also the 5th most search thing – period. AB was a story line MACHINE. It literally felt like a movie that released new scenes every other day. Fortunately and unfortunately for us, AB provided commentary for this movie on the one place he shouldn’t have, Twitter.

It all started when he said peace out to the Steelers and called everyone assholes…

​Then he joined the Raiders and has an absolute hissy fit over his helmet. Due to his hissy fit and so much more, the dude demanded to be released. But the Raiders were like screw you and tried to keep him. So AB had a full-out tantrum, got in a fight and was finally cut. Nice.  

​… Alrighty then. After a brief intermission and a lot of publicity, Bill Belichick swooped up AB – an evil and risky move. Somehow, AB didn’t tweet once while he was on the Pats. But then, he was accused of sexual assault and his one-game stint with the overlords came to a close.

​After getting kicked to the curb by the Pats, all teams basically agreed to shun him – deservingly so. In his time off since AB has done a lot of things like telling the XFL to eff off.

And even the NFL. 

​And he went back to college.

And he just kept on tweeting, 

​So, when I said his life is an actual movie, I wasn’t kidding. He even thinks so!

Don’t you worry AB, I’m staying Tuned. 

Also, shout out to my fellow tweeters.